Likeable Weirdo

My friend Rage has told me I am “bad at skirt” and I am fully aware she is right. I have been bad at skirt since toddlerhood, when I would sit in front of the entire congregation during the “children’s sermon” absentmindedly rolling up the skirt of my Sunday best while my mother had a panic attack in the pews.

I swear I try not to be. I even bought a slip, Mom!

(Source: quietistheheart, via kateordie)

“There’s a sign on my front door. You have been walking past it for seven hundred years. What does it say?”
“That’s not instructions!”
”There’s an instruction at the bottom. What does it say?”
‘“Pull to open.’”
”Yes, and what do you do?”
“I push!”

Have I mentioned how “The Doctor’s Wife” is my favorite ever?

(Source: doctor-who-fandom, via jmrichards)

maudelynn:

Monty getting ready for the jubilee!

via/by  Nicolette Millward

OH MY GOD LOOK AT YOUR LITTLE FAAAAACE.

Somebody slap me and remind me how dogs are expensive and my apartment is too small and I work too much to give enough attention and my cat would murder me and I can’t afford the additional pet deposit.

You’n’me both, Ri.

(Source: emilystardust, via chezamanda)

comiques:

Seize the day!

In my defense, it’s 5 am and nothing is open. It’s hard to seize the day when everyone is asleep.

(Source: vicki-sanders, via rosalarian)

(Source: anditslove, via jmrichards)

elliemce:

Amy Poehler is the best and Seventeen magazine is the worst and the only thing I would add to that answer would be a solid “Fuck you” after the end.

People I wish I had been as a teenager.

(via sashayed)

kitsunewill:

osheamobile:

strawberryjoel:

tehsmarty:

strayakuma:

blizooka:

kirbopher:

vero-chan:

superpsyguy:

heyitsthatsean:

lovelymetalhead3:

careyquitecontrary:

usagisquared:

pettyartist:

hitoshura0:

easternstarlights:

soujizz:

persona 3: you walk up stairs at night

Nocturne: you gradually realize you hate everything.

Because someone else did Nocturne, I’ll do a game I played today.

Xenoblade Chronicles: You get destroyed by giant caterpillars

Monkey Island.

You pick up things and use them sometimes.

The Legend of Zelda.

You’re not Zelda.

Okami

You paint everything to death.

Mario Party

All of your friends are assholes

Borderlands. There’s numbers everywhere when you hit enemies.

Sonic the Hedgehog. Run Right.

Dungeons and Dragons

Sitting around a table and talking about the die you just rolled.

Super Mario RPG: Legend of the not being able to jump on things to kill them and taking turns slapping each other instead.

world of nerf your favorite class craft

portal 1/2

everything is a lie and everyone hates you

Halo: Combat Evolved you get to shoot aliens and ride in cars

Okami

You’re a white dog voiced by an annoying flea who runs around a painting and drawing flowers.

The Mass Effect series. You dance like Elaine Benes no matter what your sex.

Skyrim: You have philosophical debates with angels. 

Psychonauts: You are a child circus performer who leaves the circus before the game even starts and is then required to muddle through the deep, often disturbing, psychological issues of several adults. Oh and you meet your hero only to find out he has severe dementia.

(Source: effyeahpegasister)

kateordie:

This comic is about how there are two sides to every story.